Helping couples heal and reconnect
Do you ever wonder why intimate relationship is so challenging and confronting?
Because your close relationships will expose your deepest needs, fears and vulnerabilities and that is very hard to manage.
This includes longings, disappointments, past wounds and obviously the various fears such as abandonment, rejection, shame, betrayal, failure, exploitation and more. Successfully coping with these vulnerabilities is the main challenge faced when it comes to your love life.
When you both turn each other from a source of frustration or ‘threat’ – imagined or real – to a source of support, your relationship will fourish. You then turn your relationship into a ‘lab’ for healing and growing.
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART
A relationship thrives when both partners feel connected and secure. But when there are hurts, doubts, insecurities, and disconnection, the relationship flounders. You both feel increasingly vulnerable.
And how are you coping with this vulnerability?
Most likely in one of these two control strategies:
- turn against – blame, criticise, attack, poke, nudge etc.
- turn away – avoid, numb, stonewall, passive aggressive etc.
To restore trust, connection and joy partners will turn towards each other. For that you will need to use the language of the heart. That means, expressing your needs and emotional hurts in constructive and authentic ways.
Your vulnerability then turns into your source of power! It nourishes closeness and makes your partner more likely to respond to your needs and wants.
THE COUNSELLING PROCESS
Understanding the language of your heart – needs, feelings, longings – and learning constructive ways to express it, will be the focus of our counselling work; because you want your partner to respond to your needs! This is how you can win the heart of your partner and this is why I call it your personal power. You want to be effective and wise, not ‘right’.
In my work I also use educational and coaching methods: you will learn about relationships and develop ways to strengthen your connection and friendship. It is very much like adding credits to your emotional bank account in order to help you better cope with your next hardship. With a secure connection and pleasanter feelings, the relationship becomes more resilient.
My blog contains further tips and ideas in case you are curious.
Guy (Hagai) Avisar