Conflicts and the enemies within our Mind When you have a fight or disagreement with your partner, this is likely...Read More
Helping couples heal and reconnect
Why are romantic relationships so challenging?
Because your close relationships will expose your deepest needs, fears and vulnerabilities and that is very hard to manage.
This includes longings, disappointments, past wounds and obviously the various fears such as abandonment, rejection, shame, betrayal, failure, exploitation and more. Successfully coping with these vulnerabilities is the main challenge faced when it comes to your love life.
When you both turn each other from a source of frustration or ‘threat’ – imagined or real – to a source of support, your relationship will fourish. You then turn your relationship into a ‘lab’ for healing and growing.
The counselling process
Understanding your own needs and feelings, and learning constructive ways to express them, will be the focus of your counselling work. Why? Because you want your partner to get you and to respond to your needs! This is how you move from a sense of powerlessness and frustration to a sense of power. To influence on your partner, you want to be effective and wise, not ‘right’.
For your relationship to flourish it needs to be cultivated and nourished. During your couple sessions you will cultivate a culture of relating to each other in ways that keep your relationship strong, satisfying, and resilient. To achieve this, your relationship counsellor will create a safe environment in which you feel comfortable expressing your softer sides and your vulnerabilities. Instead of defensiveness and attacks, you will learn to express your needs, feelings, and requests, in a more open and authentic way. When this happens, you feel heard and understood.
The upward spiral will consist of more care, understanding, and empathy. As your connection deepens, you feel more secure and your relationship can flourish.
Relationship education and coaching
Relationship education and coaching are an important part of the process. You will learn about your relationship brain and how it affects your reactions. You will learn how to strengthen your connection and friendship. It is very much like adding credits to your emotional bank account in order to help you better cope with your next hardship. With a secure connection and pleasanter feelings, the relationship becomes more resilient.