HOW I WORK
With over 30 years’ counseling experience, I foster warm, genuine and compassionate relationships with my clients. My many years of clinical experience have seen me develop a style of helping couples that is best described as ‘compassionate coaching‘: I facilitate the conversation with care, warmth, and gentleness to make you both feel accepted and understood.
While doing so, I maintain the focus on making sure that we work towards your goals together. I make staying on track to reach your goals my responsibility.
The process of counselling is much like gardening. I help you cultivate a culture of relating to each other in ways that keep your relationship strong, satisfying, and resilient. In order to achieve this, we create a safe environment in which you feel more comfortable expressing your softer sides and your. Instead of defensiveness and attacks, you learn to express your needs, feelings, and requests, in a more open and authentic way. The upward spiral will consist of more care, understanding, and empathy. As your connection deepens, you are in a situation where you feel more secure and where your relationship flourishes.
From the field of Positive Psychology I have learned how to capitalise on strengths. Going beyond what doesn’t work well, we will explore possibilities and cultivate personal and relationship growth.
My evidence-based tools draw upon Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), John Gottman’s work, Gestalt, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Your first session will see us spend time getting to know each other while we assess your relationship issues and make a plan for intervention.
We basically follow two processes during our sessions:
One is where I facilitate a constructive conversation with the purpose of you gaining a deeper understanding of, and fostering compassion towards, each other. This will enable you to clarify your needs and wants while at the same time using a softer approach when expressing them. Conflicts are thus dealt with in a completely different way.
The second process is more direct and educational in nature – I will share useful tips and perspectives while coaching you on proven relationship skills.