Courage

Fear of pain, rejection, failure, abandonment, exposure and death are deeply rooted in the unconscious habitual mind. They are very hard to change. What is easier to change is our response to them. Most people actually do change their responses to fear, but they often do so unconsciously in response to a greater threat. For example, you might have a fear of vaccine injections, but learn to overcome it because your fear of disease is greater. A battered woman may push herself to take action against her violent husband because she fears more for the safety of her children than for herself. The fear of separation may force a man to come to marriage counselling and face the exposure he would otherwise dread. The reason for this unfortunate state is that most people operate from their conditioned brain that feeds on the survival mechanism of fear.

You can see how much fear rules your life by asking yourself how often you say ‘no’ to possibilities, avoid interacting or conflicting with others, or present a false self. To remain safe, your ego separates you from your core being and from other people. In the fortress you feel secure but isolated, inauthentic and lifeless.

We all use guards from time to time. But we can learn to use them flexibly. Flexibility grows as we learn to be aware of our own responses and stop judging new experiences based on past threats. Self awareness allows us the freedom to choose consciously. We don’t choose fears. They arise spontaneously from the deepest parts of our brains. But we can choose how to handle them. The way is to become aware of them and then respond with courage.